The Most Powerful Coaching Question
It seems like ages ago that I sat in a room of perfect strangers and struggled to finish the infamous…if you really knew me……exercise posed at our Petaluma CLCC Kick-Off Retreat weekend. It was something I never had to answer before and here I was in a room full of coaches. I could literally say anything.I have no recollection of what I said. In fact, I have little recollection about the entire weekend as my survival instincts kicked in and the introvert in me was just trying to make it out alive. One of the many things I learned about myself that weekend was I am made to be a coach and I can do hard things.
So now as a coach and founder of a blossoming career engagement business, I'm ready to try this again…If you really knew me, you would know …… I struggle with asking the next right question.
I've been building my own coaching business for almost 4 years and when I look at my coach hours and the number of clients I have worked with, it is now in the hundreds which translates into a heck of a lot of questions. Early on in my coaching career I started a collection of powerful questions, both ones I have created, and some others that have been graciously shared. I have them all compiled in a book that sits right here on my desk. It truly is a labor of love and I have spent hours making sure I have it ready for any time I struggle with finding the next right question.With the Big Book of Questions in hand, I wanted to share with you the one I find the most powerful. This will absolutely change the way you ask questions as a coach…hands down….Ready…Here it is….It starts with a capital letter and ends in a question mark.I told you it would be life changing!Now, before you get upset and quit reading, just stay with me. The thing with asking questions as a coach is you just never know what turn the client is going to take.
There might not be “a” next right question, but there are a few things to know about asking questions to your client.
The 3 Parts Of A Powerful Question
1. The intention behind the question. It isn’t about the question you ask, it’s about the curiosity behind the question that makes it powerful. When you’re really in the space with the client, it isn’t about you asking, it’s about you there with the client. As soon as you start thinking about the next “right” question, the space becomes more about you than the client. Instead, try asking questions purely out of curiosity from the client’s point of view. It isn’t about what you need to know, it’s about what the client needs to discover.
2. The interpretation of the question. Questions that are clear, forward leaning, and open ended have a better chance of moving the client where they need to go. However, it is all about how the client interprets the question and what journey they embark on. You never know where a question could take you and you never know if the question is even going to land. I have had questions that work 90% of the time and for some, it just falls flat.
3. The question is done after the punctuation. This is the one I have the hardest time with. After you ask the question….STOP TALKING! Part of asking a powerful question is the space you give the client to answer. I can often string 3 to 4 questions together hoping I will be better understood. If the client needs clarity, they will ask. The space you give allows the question to land or fall. It gives the client time to process and interpret what you’ve just said. There is power in the pause and because you have stopped talking, you can observe what is happening to the client in that space.So, whether you have two client hours or two decades of coaching under your belt, remember the core of the word question is quest, not outcome. (That would be outcom-ion which is clearly not a word). There might not be a next “right” question to ask, but there certainly isn’t a wrong one.
Happy questioning!
Louise Neil is a professionally certified career engagement, leadership, and life coach with decades of experience in getting people to find the core question which needs answering. With more than 20 years in product and project management in insurance, travel, and transportation, she has crafted the art of the career pivot and now is the founder of Pivoting Point Career Solutions, a small business solely dedicated to helping folks find purpose and joy in the work they do. Louise is an International Coach Federation (ICF ACC) certified coach, Neuro Linguistic Program (NLP) Practitioner, and graduate of the Courageous Living Coach Certification program. She is co-host of Your Kickass Career Community as well as The Best Parts Podcast. She does private one-on-one coaching in career engagement, pivot planning, and leadership centered around using your gifts and strengths to find flow and ease at work. Through masterclasses, workshops, and her Pivotal Advantage program, she helps midlife professionals breathe life back into their careers so they find clarity, purpose, and joy. Her focus is helping people understand the habits and stories which undermine their confidence and hold them back from being their very best selves. You can learn more about Louise and her coaching at louiseneil.com.