How Do You Explain What Life Coaching Is?

So…How Do You Explain Life Coaching?

What is life coaching? How is it different than therapy? Is coaching just the same as having a conversation with a friend? If the two are different, exactly how are they different? We’re breaking down the key distinctions between coaching and therapy and how to explain life coaching to someone who knows that these two modalities have things in common, but need to know the key differences.

Coaching Isn’t The Same as Chatting with a Friend

First, coaching is a conversation–but it’s not the same as just talking to a friend. In a friendship, reciprocity is expected, and in coaching, the focus is entirely on the client. In a friendship, if only one friend was the focus it would probably not feel so great to the other person in the relationship. Additionally, friendships often involve casual asides, meandering off topic, jokes, and other components of casual conversation. In coaching, again, the focus is solely on the client so the topics stay focused and the emphasis is on how the client wants to grow and change.

So then, how do you define or explain what coaching is?

There’s the ICF or International Coaching Federation definition of coaching, which you can find on their website.

In the CLCC coach training program, we prefer a definition that is more accessible:

Coaching is a client-lead partnership between coach and client where the coach supports the client to make focused shifts in their lives, while normalizing feeling fear and uncertainty as part of the process, and supporting the client to live authentically and to be aligned with who they truly are.

Notice that our definition isn’t solely about goals or achievements in the future. We think it’s important for clients to use the here-and-now present as a way to both understand their past journey that has lead them here, and start designing a compelling future. Goals aren’t the be-all, end-all. The client stepping into a more expansive way of being in their lives, is what it’s all about.

What is a coach actually doing on a call?

Helping the client to determine a focus, prioritize that focus, make key decisions about what supports their focus and what doesn’t, define what feels authentic and right in a way that they can apply to their everyday lives, stay accountable, navigate feelings of fear and uncertainty, and offer encouragement and a big-picture perspective when things go off course. The coach is the container, while the client does the work.

If you’ve ever had someone ask you a question that had you deeply consider things in ways you’d never thought of before, you know how powerful that experience was–imagine if every single session, with the focus solely on you, over and over, these were the types of questions you were contemplating? That’s the power of an ongoing coaching relationship.